Fuck Bring Your Child To Work Day

So today was “Bring Your Child To Work Day” at my particular place of employment. It might as well be called “Hey Childless Loser, Your Life Must Be Empty And Void Of Any Meaning Day”.

For those without kids, it should be “Stay Home From Work Day”. First of all, it's just depressing. I already grapple everyday with the fact that I'm in my thirties, single, and childless. I don't really need it thrown in my face by having everyone's kids running around and being all fucking cute and shit. I should at least be able to bring my cat, Pixie, to work to equal shit out. Secondly, those who do bring their kids to work pretty much get a free day. I, meanwhile, have to work. Where's the justice in that?

I always thought the whole purpose of “Bring Your Child To Work Day” was for your child to see what you did for a living. By seeing how meaningless and boring your adult life is, maybe your child would learn to truly treasure their innocent youth while they can. Or maybe they'd see the robot you've become, working for the man, forty hours, a week and have their first thoughts of suicide. Who knows? But instead, it's a bunch of kids and their parents playing at work, going on tours, listening to speeches by professional wrestlers. Yeah, that's what mommy and daddy do every day. Good god, if that's the message these kids get, they're gonna actually want to grow up, only to be crushed when they find out that work is not a paradise of potato chips, coloring books, McGruff the Crime Dog, and WWE wrestlers.

You may think this is just the ramblings of a jaded, bitter, childless, single dude. Well, I have news for you: um, well, actually, yeah, that pretty much describes it.
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