Why Does MLB Hate Me?

Holy God. The one thing that could make me root against the Padres making the playoffs:

The July date will mark the earliest launch ever for a postseason MLB campaign. The campaign, entitled "There's Only One October," and featuring actor/comedian Dane Cook will highlight some of baseball's memorable postseason moments, while showcasing today's teams and most promising players in their quest for October greatness. The TV spots will provide a timely narrative of key stories which unfold during the regular season and their impact on shaping the 2007 postseason.

Have I mentioned how much I hate Dane Cook? Have I? I guess I have.