- Meredith, describing her weekend: "I caught my son taking a dump on the upper part of the toilet. He calls it an 'Upper Decker.'"
- Kevin: "Jim's gone on his honeymoon, so I started borrowing his office to fart in."
- Oscar: "The Coalition For Reason is extremely weak."
- Dwight: "R is among the most menacing of sounds. That's why they call it murder, not muckduck."
- Andy: "When someone threatens you, you give in right away."
- Michael, ordering Italian: "I'll have the gabba gool." and "If the salad is on top, I send it back."
- Kevin, to Oscar: "You'd love jail"
- Andy, as a mechanic: "Your motor....drive...is probably...down", "I had kind of a long day at the mechanic store" and "you got a leaky spark tube, so your car's totaled, you're gonna wanna get a refund on that."
The lack of Jim/Pam really freed up this episode. It's among the all-time best IMHO. SC probably thinks I'm crazy, since she's in bed, and I am watching this with headphones, so all she hears is my uncontrolled laughter.