5 worst commercials of 2009

1. Charmin: If A Bear Shits In The Woods...

Sorry, do not need to see toilet paper dingleberries, I don't care how cute the bear they are attached to is.  Also, BEARS DON'T WIPE THEIR ASSES!!

2. iPod Nano

As much as I like the Mac and iPhone commercials, the iPod commericals remind me why I hate Apple. Idiotic dancing by hipster dufii combined with the lamest, most annoying indie-pop imaginable. Makes me a proud, crotchety Zune owner.

3. Progressive 

I don't understand the concept behind these commercials. Why are they in a store? What is on the shelves? And the saleswoman in them is annoying to such an extreme that her annoyingness doubles back and enters a zone in which she kinda turns me on. 

4. Levi's: Walt Whitman

Fucking pretentious as all shit. Pitchfork would give this a 10, fo sho.

5. Chevy: Howie Long 

If you drive a Dodge Ram, you're a big ol' fagpuss. Ain't that America?

Honorable mention: Miracle Whip 

This ad campaign took a sarcastic turn after Stephen Colbert just destroyed it. There's a chance that this may have been tongue-in-cheek all along. I don't know. But if it was originally meant to be sincere, this would have been number one on the list. Tone it down, Miracle Whip.
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