6.20.2005

HAHAHA MUSLIMS R FUNNY LOL

I love my niece to death. She just might be my favorite person in the whole world. She’s battled against the odds literally from the day she was born. The latest example occurred when she went out and became a Marine against a lot of people’s advice. By my respect and admiration for her do not make her immune from criticism for forwarding me the following email:

A Soldier tells about an incident in the grocery store
he stopped at yesterday, on his way home from the base. He said that
ahead of several people in front of him stood a woman dressed
in a burkha. He said when she got to the cashier she loudly
remarked about the US flag lapel pin the cashier wore on her smock. The
cashier reached up and touched the pin, and said proudly, "Yes, I
always wear it and I probably always will." The woman in the burkha then
asked the cashier when she was going to stop bombing her countrymen,
explaining that she was Iraqi. A gentleman standing behind the soldier
stepped forward, putting his arm around his shoulders, and nodding
towards the soldier, said in a calm and gentle voice to the Iraqi woman:
"Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have
fought and died so that YOU could stand here, in MY country and accuse
a check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen. It is my belief
that had you been this outspoken in YOUR own country, we wouldn't need
to be there today. But, hey, if you have now learned how to speak out so
loudly and clearly, I'll gladly buy you a ticket and pay your way back to
Iraq so you can straighten out the mess in YOUR country that you are
obviously here in MY country to avoid." Everyone within hearing distance
cheered.

I’m sure most of you have received a similar email at some point and probably said, “Hell yeah!” Well, let’s examine this email, which to me is a vile, racist attempt at getting you to support the troops.

1. This incident never occurred. Somebody obviously made it up. If you think this actually happened, you’re insane. Do you know any Arabs or Muslims? If you do, you know what I’m talking about. If you don’t, Muslims are not stupid. They know the atmosphere in this country. They are keenly aware that a large percentage of this country pretty much hates them. Some of the nicest people I have ever met have been called terrorists for no other reason than being Muslim. So pardon me if I find it hard to believe a Muslim woman in a supermarket decided to provoke a checker wearing a lapel. And pardon me for not believing there was some uber-patriot there with a stirring speech he’d been saving for such an occasion.

2. The uber-patriot says “Lady, hundreds of thousands of men and women like this young man have fought and died so that YOU could stand here, in MY country and accuse
a check-out cashier of bombing YOUR countrymen”. I have no idea what he is talking about. If he means the Iraqi War, well that has nothing to do with “protecting America” or “protecting freedom”. Just because troops go to war does not automatically mean they are protecting freedom. If we invaded Canada because we were sick of them saying “eh” all the time, undoubtedly millions in this country would refer to the troops as “protecting our freedom”. Listen, not every war is a noble war faught to protect freedom. Can you handle that concept? If, however, he meant WWII (which he must have, as he cites hundreds of thousands of deaths), well that’s a different story, as that was a noble war fought to protect our freedom. But the outcome of WWII was the Middle East being carved up and ruled colonially. WWII didn’t give the Middle East any sort of freedom. It gave them British rule. So again, I simply have no idea what uber-partiot is talking about.

3. The United States supported Saddam Hussein for decades. This is common knowledge. When he used chemical weapons in the Iran-Iraq war, WE were the ones who sold him the weapons. Iraq only became an enemy to us when Saddam invaded Kuwait. If Saddam never did that, we’d probably be friends today. And if the anonymous Muslim lady in the supermarket spoke up against Saddam, she would have likely been killed. If she was killed in 1989 we wouldn’t think it was a big deal, because Saddam was our friend. If she was killed in 1992 it would have been horrible, because Saddam was evil by that time. Nice having it both ways, isn’t it?

4. Uber patriot talks about us “needing” to be there today. Hey idiot, WE DON’T NEED TO BE THERE! THAT’S THE WHOLE POINT. Saddam had no WMD’s, and if he did, no way to get them to us. Iraq was simply not a threat by any stretch of the imagination. Ask yourself this: what did Saddam actually ever DO to us? Now, if all the troops in Iraq were instead in Afghanistan and Pakistan, maybe some progress in the war on terror could be made. That’s where we “needed” to be.

5. This dude would have never bought her a ticket. Please. Americans are stingy.

6. What is this MY country and YOUR country shit? If she’s a citizen, this IS her country, you jackass. I guess she’s just not white or Christian enough for you.

So what exactly is the point of this email? To make us feel good about talking shit to Muslims? To show them whose country this really is? The troops deserve a lot more respect than this fake patriotic xenophobic bullshit. All this kind of bullshit propaganda does is to make me resent them. And my niece just happens to be unresentable (I made that word up). So stop with the pseudo-patriotic emails. Got it?

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