republicans hold females in very high esteem

As the father of the awesomest daughter ever and no sons, fuck you Kevin Williamson.

You want off-the-charts status? Check out the curriculum vitae of one Willard M. Romney: $200 million in the bank (and a hell of a lot more if he didn’t give so much away), apex alpha executive, CEO, chairman of the board, governor, bishop, boss of everything he’s ever touched. Son of the same, father of more. It is a curious scientific fact (explained in evolutionary biology by the Trivers-Willard hypothesis — Willard, notice) that high-status animals tend to have more male offspring than female offspring, which holds true across many species, from red deer to mink to Homo sap. The offspring of rich families are statistically biased in favor of sons — the children of the general population are 51 percent male and 49 percent female, but the children of the Forbes billionaire list are 60 percent male. Have a gander at that Romney family picture: five sons, zero daughters. Romney has 18 grandchildren, and they exceed a 2:1 ratio of grandsons to granddaughters (13:5). When they go to church at their summer-vacation home, the Romney clan makes up a third of the congregation. He is basically a tribal chieftain.

Professor Obama? Two daughters. May as well give the guy a cardigan. And fallopian tubes.
And if there's anyone I'm going to listen to on the subject of macho-macho-manliness, it's Kevin Williamson.

the methmaker

I found this quite funny. I'm not saying you will, especially if you're under 35, but I did.


well, it finally happened... #innout

After almost 20 years, In 'N Out finally screwed up an order of mine.  They forgot the cheese on my double-double. Hard to get too, upset, since my order is kind of ridiculous:

  • Double-Double
  • Medium Rare 
  • Mustard grilled - with pickle
  • Add chopped chilies
  • No lettuce or onions
I'm surprised it took them this long to screw it up. All turned out well though, cuz I had some Goat Milk Dutch Cheese from Trader Joe's at home, and a slice of that put this sucker waaaaay over the top.


free parenting advice

When you go to the indoor playground, or any playground for that matter, with your kid, do NOT, no matter how much you like them, wear this shirt:

You may be a proud Sicko fan, for sure, but trust me, you're going to spend a lot of time trying to cover up.



the bananas at awesomefest 5 (complete set)

Well, like Vanessa Williams, I'm saving the best for last. The Bananas's complete show. One of the best times I've had at a show, and something I'll truly cherish forever.

This was my third time seeing the Bananas. First was in an empty pizza joint in Davis. Second was in a basement in Sacramento that was a lot of fun, but didn't touch this.

Now, some of my viewers/facebook friends might click on this out of curiousity and be all, like, "WTF? Dude can't sing, and can barely play the guitar!", to which i respond, "Yeah, and?"

But those of you who know, know. The best songs performed in the drunkest possible fashion. This was magical. By the time the 4 a.m./Nautical Rock N Roll closing medley ended, this dude was 39 going on 15.

On a side note, I sadly realized that I will be out of town for this year's Awesomefest, so shoot me a line if you want to buy my pass.

EDIT: Oops...almost forgot the set list:

1. Beginning Of The End
2. Don’t Touch That Thing
3. New Animals
4. Billy Reuben
5. Me and My Shadow
6. Feel Better
7. Sugar Bear
8. Radioaction
9. Adventures of the Incorrigible Jazzy Pants
10. A Slippery Subject
11. Revenge Fantasy #427
12. Peanut Butter Cups
13. 4 a.m. / Nautical Rock’n’Roll / 4 a.m.


that's me inside your head

If you don't know who these guys are, this won't mean anything to you.

But if you do, it's pretty hard not to get choked up.


stay away from downtown

Has it really been 15 years since the last Redd Kross album? Wow. Well, they are sounding very Cheap Trick-ish, and very good.


usain bolt vs. michael phelps

I was going to write almost this exact thing. So, since it's already been written, I will just repost it here because it is absolutely true. Emphasis mine.

Everybody Agrees That Usain Bolt Is 1 Billion Times The Star That Michael Phelps Is Right?:
So I tweeted this out last night….
“Usain Bolt is 1 billion times the star Michael Phelps is. Fact”
I honestly didn’t even think it was that big of a statement.   It would kind of be like me tweeting that “It will get dark tonight.  Fact”.    Like I honestly didn’t think anybody would debate it.  But apparently there are some knuckleheads out there who think Phelps is a bigger star because he has like 38 medals or something.  Umm how many times do I have to go over this?   He competes in a dumb ass sport where you can win 9,000 medals essentially doing the same thing.   Yes he’s the best swimmer on the planet.   Not the fastest, but the overall best.    Meanwhile Usain Bolt is the fastest motherfucker on the planet.    I don’t care what country you live in, what sport you play, that matters.    If you go ask other pro athletes who they’d want to meet the answer is going to be Usain Bolt 100% of the time.   The reason is because speed is universal.   Everybody can appreciate it, understand it and be in awe of it.  The 100 meter dash is the signature event of the Olympics.  Both summer and winter.    The only other title that may be more prestigious than being World’s Fastest Man is being Heavyweight Champion of the World.   That’s it.    And right now Usain Bolt is dominating the title.  He’s like Tyson in his prime.     Not just winning, but winning for fun.   A star of stars.   It’s nothing against Michael Phelps.  He’s the greatest swimmer who has ever lived, but that pales in comparison to being the fast human who has ever lived.   And if you don’t agree with that than you my friend are a certified idiot.
I'll add this: As to this Michael Phelps as the "Greatest Olympian Ever" BS, um, no. I'd put Usain Bolt ahead of Phelps, but that would still be wrong.

The correct answer is Jesse Owens, you myopic idiots. It's not always about medal counts.

dear i.t. departments

Chrome is more secure than Firefox, and is now more popular. You might possibly want to start supporting it. Just sayin'.



muhammadali (awesomefest)

So, Bar Eleven has their own food truck. I was enjoying an awesome grilled pepper sandwich from it when lo and behold, I strike up a brief conversation with Davey Tiltwheel. I ask him who's the one band I have to see. "Muhammadali" he says. So I do.

I've mentioned it before, but most of the bands playing Awesomefest are easily labled pop-punk. There are really only a few exceptions, and Muhammadali was one of them. I couldn't quite place them, then it hit me: These guys worship Hickey (my favorite band, if you haven't been paying attention)! I bought all of the stuff they were selling, but this song wasn't on anything I bought (they do reference it as a "new one").

They just released a record on Dirt Cult Records (apparently after dude who runs the label saw this exact show), so maybe it's on that (even though the cover art looks just like one of the cd's I bought). Anywho, here's your new favorite band:


the french exit - impossible - awesomefest 5

Because I'm old, I hadn't heard of 2/3 of the bands at Awesomefest. My math went Scared of Chaka + Everready (who I actually missed) + The Bananas = I'm there. But I will say that while I liked some bands a lot more than others, no band that I saw out and out sucked. One of the bands I liked the most was The French Exit, who I'd never heard of. Definitely a late 90's feel to these guys. I was really impressed.

off! at the casbah

Here's the aforementioned OFF! show from May. From beginning to end, including patented Keith Morris stage banter. Part 1.

Part 2

Part 3

The setlist:

1 Panic Attack
2 I Don't Belong
3 Borrow and Bomb
4 Poison City
5 Now I'm Pissed
6 Jeffrey Lee Pierce
7 Blast
8 Feelings Are Meant To Be Hurt
9 Wrong
10 King Kong Brigade
11 I've Got News For You
12 Vaporized
13 Crawl
14 Rat Trap
15 Wiped Out
16 Peace in Hermosa
17 Cracked
18 Black Thoughts
19 Darkness
20 Upside Down


retox - 30 cents short of a quarter (at the casbah)

Saw OFF! in May. That video is coming soon. In the meantime, enjoy a tune from Retox (members of the Locust, Swing Kids, all your favorite SD based threeoneg bands).


r.i.p. tony sly #nouseforaname

41? This hits way to close to home. From all accounts, a great guy, and he led a band that displayed that "Epi-Fat" didn't always have to be a derogatory term.

Rest in peace.