Fake Outrage

You know what's funny to me?

Now that Fox has decided not to run the whole OJ "If I did it, here's how" interview, allllllll the people who were "outraged" that Fox would do such a thing now have to pretend they are oh so happy about the decision, even though deep down, they're sad, because they secretly really, really wanted to watch it so they could be "outraged" afterwards. Trust me, for all the crying, that thing would have gotten fantastic ratings.

Not gonna happen. Damn, soooo close, such a shame. Sucks for you, gossip hounds. Now get back to discussing Dancing With The Stars or whatever the fuck.


Tenacious D

I don’t like ‘em.

I should like them. They were “discovered” by David Cross, of whom I am a huge fan. I like Jack Black in most of his non-Tenacious D stuff. Kyle Gass is pretty likable too. They do the whole alt-comedy thing that I usually like. Yet, it just doesn’t work for me.

I’ve simply never thought they were funny. Mildly humorous? Sure. And it’s not an “I liked them and then they got popular so now I hate them” type of thing either. It’s also not a “You just don’t get it, man” type of thing. I do get it. It’s just not that funny. It's a cute gimmick that wears after about four minutes, yet they have this huge career out of it.

In these situations, I always assume that I am right, and they are truly not funny, yet people pretend that they are funny so they’ll seem hip. Kind of like the Dane Cook thing, although I have to apologize to Tenacious D for mentioning them in the same breath as that shitbag.

So am I right? Is Tenacious D actually funny, or is it marketing? What am I missing?


The Office

First there was Moonlighting, and David and Maddie.

Then, Cheers, with Sam and Diane.

And of course, Ross and Rachel (puke).

Usually when a show develops sexual or romantic tension between two characters, the producers usually blow it by allowing the characters to consummate their relationship. And from that point on, the show sucks. The post-fucking show is never the equal of the pre-fucking show.

So, obviously I hate it when shows give in to this sort of cop out.

Well, normally.

Dammit Jim and Pam! Hook up already! You're killing me over here. Pam, you know you broke of the engagement with your ex because you secretly love Jim, and now you do nothing about it? C'mon. And Jim. You know Pam is single now. Sure, she rebuffed you harshly before, but at least try, man. Yes, your new coworker is insanely hot and is into you, but she couldn't make you as happy as Pam. Don't be a Shrute, grow a pair.

You crazy kids. Do the right thing. Sure The Office will start to suck, but I'm willing to pay that price....for love.

Wow. What just happened? Sorry for the estrogen release. Normal blogging will resume shortly.


Election Night

Well, it's looking like the drapes can be measured after all.

As a Democrat, I'm really used to defeat, but whatever happens tonight, Santorum is out and the wonderful voters of Minnesota (I am being sincere, not sarcastic) have elected its first Muslim to Congress, so a measure of pride in my country is being restored in me.

UPDATE: Wow, this is nice. Some politicians I really dislike have been defeated. Namely, Rick Santorum and J.D. Hayworth. Both had their asses handed to them. There are still a few out there that haven't been decided yet, namely John Doolittle and Richard Pombo here in California, who are just slimy as fuck. They may hold on, which would lead to the weird situation of me being elated with the rest of the country and disappointed with California.


Kevin Tillman on Pat Tillman

Remember Pat Tillman? He was the defensive back for the Arizona Cardinals who turned down millions of dollars in NFL money to become an Army Ranger after September 11. He was sent to Afghanistan, where he was killed by friendly fire.

But “Hero Killed By Friendly Fire” makes a bad headline, so your government covered up the true facts behind his death invented a heroic story in which Tillman went down in a heroic firefight against the enemy. Basically, they used Pat Tillman for their own PR campaign. It was disgraceful, and Pat Tillman’s family has expressed their displeasure publicly.

No one can speak for Pat Tillman; he’s dead. But if there were anyone I would trust to convey Pat’s feelings, it would be Kevin Tillman , his brother. Pat and Kevin Tillman enlisted together and by all accounts were very, very close.

Kevin wrote the following. It is required reading as we head into election day.

It is Pat’s birthday on November 6, and elections are the day after. It gets me thinking about a conversation I had with Pat before we joined the military. He spoke about the risks with signing the papers. How once we committed, we were at the mercy of the American leadership and the American people. How we could be thrown in a direction not of our volition. How fighting as a soldier would leave us without a voice… until we got out.

Much has happened since we handed over our voice:

Somehow we were sent to invade a nation because it was a direct threat to the American people, or to the world, or harbored terrorists, or was involved in the September 11 attacks, or received weapons-grade uranium from Niger, or had mobile weapons labs, or WMD, or had a need to be liberated, or we needed to establish a democracy, or stop an insurgency, or stop a civil war we created that can’t be called a civil war even though it is. Something like that.

Somehow our elected leaders were subverting international law and humanity by setting up secret prisons around the world, secretly kidnapping people, secretly holding them indefinitely, secretly not charging them with anything, secretly torturing them. Somehow that overt policy of torture became the fault of a few “bad apples” in the military.

Somehow back at home, support for the soldiers meant having a five-year-old kindergartener scribble a picture with crayons and send it overseas, or slapping stickers on cars, or lobbying Congress for an extra pad in a helmet. It’s interesting that a soldier on his third or fourth tour should care about a drawing from a five-year-old; or a faded sticker on a car as his friends die around him; or an extra pad in a helmet, as if it will protect him when an IED throws his vehicle 50 feet into the air as his body comes apart and his skin melts to the seat.

Somehow the more soldiers that die, the more legitimate the illegal invasion becomes.

Somehow American leadership, whose only credit is lying to its people and illegally invading a nation, has been allowed to steal the courage, virtue and honor of its soldiers on the ground.

Somehow those afraid to fight an illegal invasion decades ago are allowed to send soldiers to die for an illegal invasion they started.

Somehow faking character, virtue and strength is tolerated.

Somehow profiting from tragedy and horror is tolerated.

Somehow the death of tens, if not hundreds, of thousands of people is tolerated.

Somehow subversion of the Bill of Rights and The Constitution is tolerated.

Somehow suspension of Habeas Corpus is supposed to keep this country safe.

Somehow torture is tolerated.

Somehow lying is tolerated.

Somehow reason is being discarded for faith, dogma, and nonsense.

Somehow American leadership managed to create a more dangerous world.

Somehow a narrative is more important than reality.

Somehow America has become a country that projects everything that it is not and condemns everything that it is.

Somehow the most reasonable, trusted and respected country in the world has become one of the most irrational, belligerent, feared, and distrusted countries in the world.

Somehow being politically informed, diligent, and skeptical has been replaced by apathy through active ignorance.

Somehow the same incompetent, narcissistic, virtueless, vacuous, malicious criminals are still in charge of this country.

Somehow this is tolerated.

Somehow nobody is accountable for this.

In a democracy, the policy of the leaders is the policy of the people. So don’t be shocked when our grandkids bury much of this generation as traitors to the nation, to the world and to humanity. Most likely, they will come to know that “somehow” was nurtured by fear, insecurity and indifference, leaving the country vulnerable to unchecked, unchallenged parasites.

Luckily this country is still a democracy. People still have a voice. People still can take action. It can start after Pat’s birthday.

Brother and Friend of Pat Tillman,

Kevin Tillman


The War On Fucking

There's throwing away money, and there there's throwing away money.
The federal government's "no sex without marriage" message isn't just
for kids anymore.

Now the government is targeting unmarried adults up to age 29 as part
of its abstinence-only programs, which include millions of dollars in
federal money that will be available to the states under revised federal
grant guidelines for 2007.
Your tax dollars at work!

Hmmm...trying to get single people in their 20's to stop fucking. Maybe next they'll start a campaign to stop frat boys from drinking excessively and stop politicians from lying.


Bush Makes Baby Jesus Cry

I've always believed that cats and other animals have a speical ability
to read humans. My cats have always seemed to automatically know if
strangers were cat lovers or not. If they were, they'd be specially
affectionate. If they weren't, they would back off. It's just an
instinct they have.

I think babies may have that same instinct.