I was listening to the Suicide File, and the lyrics to "Ashcroft" just kinda hit me as being especially relevant lately, especially after my run in with uber-patriot earlier. Here they are:

If what it boils down to
is that "you're either for us or against us"
I guess I've got a tough, tough choice to make
cause hollow patriotic actions and reenactments don't move me
and mostly this 21st century brand of propaganda and rhetoric
co-produced by disney and sanitized by cgi just makes me sick
and when I peer through the red, through the white,
and through the blue - I can see people like you
using tragedy to advance your own narrow moral crusade

Yeah. What he said. Email me and I’ll send you an mp3 of the song.

The Sad Punk

I always lose a little respect for those who cannot bring themselves to admit that Trompe Le Monde is the Pixies best album. Ok, so it’s hipper to like their “earlier” stuff more (isn’t it always?), but look past the image you wish to project and try being honest with yourself for once, Pixie fan.

She Bangs

God, I hate Ricky Martin. His stupid music, his stupid videos, his stupid hair, his stupid good looks, his stupid writhing hips, his stupid masculine...uh whoa. Sorry ‘bout that. Anyways, the point is I hate Ricky Martin.

So then I see this.

At first I wanted to laugh, but then I realized this guys being totally sincere. Then I remembered all the vile shit my Palestinian ex-girlfriend has to put up with (“Palestinian? So are you a terrorist? Hardy har har”). I’m gonna leave it to the judgment of Arabs if they want Ricky Martin to represent them, but I for one respect this move by him. He’s actually going to tour the Middle East, including the Palestinian territories. It would be easy to make this into a joke (i.e. Haven’t they suffered enough?), but I think it’s a serious issue that ol' Ricky is taking seriously, and I totally hope other follow his lead.

Except Gerardo. Fuck that guy.


So uber-patriot (see previous post) invites himself into my cubicle once again, and proceeds to ask me if I saw the The Devil's Rejects, because apparently it involves torture, killing and necrophilia, and I guess he assumes liberals are into that sort of thing. I don’t know anything about this movie; he seems to know a whole lot, and focuses in on how it’s okay to kill Christians in movies but not any other groups.

Which makes this disclaimer necessary. Note to White Christian Males: STOP BEING PUSSIES. You are not being persecuted like some helpless minority. Take a look around. See anyone familiar in power? Oh yeah, they only rule this country. And they always have. So why all the incessant whining and fake outrage? You own EVERYTHING. Act like it.

Overlooked Punk Gems

Pud – The One on the Wall Is Atrout, I'm the Shark

Rising from the ashes of the Rickets (I think), Pud was an overlooked band from Washingtone state. I had the pleasure of seeing them play live at a fesitival in Mount Shasta in the mid-90’s and let me tell you, teenagers have no business sounding this confident while playing 70’s style punk/pub rock. This was released on Recess Records after an excellent EP (included on this album) and is an amazing blend of late 70’s punk styles, with an Irish pub sound underneath the whole thing. I simply cannot fathom that they were so young when they recorded this stuff. This probably sold a total of like 3 records, so if your lucky, Amazon will have one really cheap at the link below and you can be the fourth person to have this gem and be cooler than your so-called friends.

Sweet Diesel – The Kids Are Dead

New York City power punk at its finest. The riffs on here are catchy and crushing at the same time. Solid songs from start to finish, but “I Hate The Man” and “Morning Breath” especially stand out. Unfortunately, this album was released with artwork depicting a guy shooting up a playground, and shortly after its release, some dude in Europe shot up a playground and killed a bunch of kids, leading this to be pulled off the shelves. Fortunately, some sellers on Amazon have used copies cheap.

<3 Vince Vaughn

Saw Wedding Crashers last week. Hilarious. Yeah, it got a little sappy, but there were more than enough laughs to make up for it. The movie only intensified my heterosexual crush on Vince Vaughn. I love that guy. Best line of the movie: “You motor boating son of a bitch!”


I was listening to the Al Franken Show friday morning, as usual, and his guest, on the phone from Africa, was Bill Clinton. Al kept asking questions that were basically invitations for Clinton to take shots at President Bush. Clinton did not take the bait, and instead deflected the issue or complemented Bush. I don’t like Bush, and us civilians should attack his actions when warranted, but it’s just not the job of a former President to take easy cheap shots, and Clinton did not. Clinton has taken Bush to task on many important issues, but he’s kept his criticisms substantive and not personal. You will not hear him make fun of Bush’s grammar or his lack of, uh, intelligence. Man I miss that guy as president.


Costco = Anti-WalMart

Saw this at DailyKos, and I thought it could use as much exposure as possible (not that this blog exposes it to anyone outside of you, my one reader). In a nutshell, it tells how well Costco treats its employees, and how this infuriates Wall Street analysts. All I can say is FUCK WALL STREET ANALYSTS. From the article:
Some Wall Street analysts assert that Mr. Sinegal (Costco CEO) is overly generous not only to Costco's customers but to its workers as well.

Costco's average pay, for example, is $17 an hour, 42 percent higher than its fiercest rival, Sam's Club. And Costco's health plan makes those at many other retailers look Scroogish. One analyst, Bill Dreher of Deutsche Bank, complained last year that at Costco "it's better to be an employee or a customer than a shareholder."

Treating employees well. How evil and un-American.
"They could probably get more money for a lot of items they sell," said Ed Weller, a retailing analyst at ThinkEquity.
Not squeezing every last penny out of your customers? Appalling. What a commie pinko. But the story has a happy ending, even for my new most hated group of people, Wall Street analysts.
Costco's stock price has risen more than 10 percent in the last 12 months, while Wal-Mart's has slipped 5 percent. Costco shares sell for almost 23 times expected earnings; at Wal-Mart the multiple is about 19.Mr. Dreher said Costco's share price was so high because so many people love the company. "It's a cult stock," he said.
There's a lot more if you go to the story. It's worth checking out and passing around to your friends. To be honest, I never knew this stuff until I read this article. I know the CEO gives to the Democratic Party, thanks to BuyBlue, but I didn't realize how deep his committment went. So I will be buying my Costco card asap and buying what I can from there (and not just the killer hot dogs). If you can, do the same. Spread the word.

By the way, In N Out has a similar story. They treat employees with respect and dignity (except for those hats) and manage to keep their prices low. So eat there and encourage others to eat there.

Drudge Retort

Raw Story has surpassed Drudge Report as my go-to breaking news website. The Druge Reprt definitely leans right (although Matt Drudge like to argue that), but it has always been a good site to check to see if there was a major story breaking. But now it's a joke. The president's cheif advisor, Karl Rove, most likely committed perjury, and every day something new comes out more damning than the day before. It's one of the top three stories in national news, but it's not even mentioned on Drudge at all. Meanwhile, Raw Story (which leans left) is getting leaks and breaking the latest news on the scandal on a regular basis. Good for them. My new home page.


Baseball talk

The Padres traded some minor leaguers (some good minor leaguers) to the Reds for Joe Randa. This is a good thing, as Sean Burroughs was not getting the job done. If you're not gonna bat for power, then you better hit .400, and Burroughs was doing neither.
Now they're trying to trade Phil Nevin for the Oriole's Sidney Ponson. I actually like Nevin, and I like his temper, but I don't mind trading him to give more playing time to Xavier Nady. But Sidney Ponson? C'mon, give me a break. Dude is 7-9 with a +5 ERA. A.J. Burnett is out there and we're happy to settle for this guy? I'd rather keep Nevin and call up a minor leaguer. Nevin can refuse the trade, and I hope he does, so we'll see how this ends up.....

Halo Of Flies

So about twelve or thirteen years ago The Accused are scheduled to play Fresno. Probably at the Cadillac Club. They were my favorite band at the time, and boy I was stoked to go. So I drive from Lemoore to Fresno, pull into Danny's Records, go to by a ticket when Danny broke the bad news, "No show. They broke up." Damn. That sucked.
Well lucky for me they are back together and are playing next weekend in San Francisco. Yee frickin haw. I can't wait. They have a new album out, which I haven't heard, but Avery tells me its the most punk influenced stuff they've done. Word.
If you don't know who they are, trust me, you've never heard a band like them. Punk-thrash with vocals I won't even try to describe. Blaine, the singer, just has one of those voices, the ones, like HR from Bad Brains, that you will never confuse for anyone else. You can download some tracks and stuff at www.splatterrock.com.


We Have A Nominee

The President has nominated John Roberts for the Supreme Court vacancy left by the retiremnet of Justice Sandra Day O'Connor. I briefly checked out his background, and I can say that so far, he looks pretty damn conservative, which I don't like at all. But you know what? Bush won the election, and he should get to nominate whoever the fuck he wants. The job of the Democrats is now to oppose his nomination in Congress. That's the way the game is played. He'll probably be confirmed since Republicans control Congress. That's just the way our democracy is set up. Does it suck to be in the minority party? Yes, it certainly does. I dunno, I guess I'm just overloaded with the whining already coming from "my team". We should focus on regaining power so we make the decisions and the Republicans can be in the shitty spot of whing about those decisions. By the way, this winner take all crap is exactly why I wish we had a parliamentary system of government.


Stupid E-mail of the Week

I always seem to get this dumb ass emails from friends and family members. Let's take a look at the latest:
After hearing that the state of Florida changed its opinion and let a Muslim woman have her picture on her driver's license with her face covered, this is an editorial written by an American citizen, published in a Tampa newspaper. He did quite a job; didn't he?

Read on, please!

IMMIGRANTS, NOT AMERICANS, MUST ADAPT I am tired of this nation worrying about whether we are offending some individual or their culture. Since the terrorist attacks on Sept. 11, we have experienced a surge in patriotism by the majority of Americans. However, the dust from the attacks had barely settled when the "politically correct" crowd began complaining about the possibility that our patriotism was offending others.
Um, take a look around. We don't worry about who we offend. Have you been asleep?
I am not against immigration, nor do I hold a grudge against anyone who is seeking a better life by coming to America. Our population is almost entirely made up of descendants of immigrants. However, there are a few things that those who have recently come to our country, and apparently some born here, need to understand.
Cut the shit. You ARE anti-immigrant, that's why you are writing this. And they don't need to understand anything you say, because you don't make the rules.
This idea of America being a multicultural community has served only to dilute our sovereignty and our national identity. As Americans, we have our own culture, our own society, our own language and our own lifestyle. This culture has been developed over centuries of struggles, trials, and victories by millions of men and women who have sought freedom.
This is code for "we are a white, Christian country." Unfortunately for you, not for long.

We speak ENGLISH, not Spanish, Portuguese, Arabic, Chinese, Japanese, Russian, or any other language. Therefore, if you wish to become part of our society, learn the language!

Actually, "we" speak all those languages. The vast majority of the people who emigrate here do there best to learn the language. Stop focusing on those who don't, and while you're at it, try to learn a second language, since you seem to think it's so fucking easy. Who is this directed at anyways? People who don't speak English? Well, how the fuck are they gonna read this?
"In God We Trust" is our national motto. This is not some Christian, right wing, political slogan. We adopted this motto because Christian men and women, on Christian principles, founded this nation, and this is clearly documented. It is certainly appropriate to display it on the walls of our schools. If God offends you, then I suggest you consider another part of the world as your new home, because God is part of our culture.
You obviously know nothing about the founding fathers. Washington, Jefferson, Franklin, Paine, Hamilton, and Madison were all deists. Most of them mocked the notion of Jesus Christ being the Son of God. God is part of our culture, for some that's the Chritian God, for some it is Allah, for some it is Buddha, for some it is the Earth, for some it is no God at all, and some will tell you they just don't fucking know. You and the Taliban, with your "our way is the only way", have more in common than you think. Oh, and while I'm at it, "Christian" principles? Have you read the Bible or do you just like to pretend you have? Because Christian principles would include not judging others, kindness towards your fellow man, and helping the poor.

If Stars and Stripes offend you, or you don't like Uncle Sam, then you should seriously consider a move to another part of this planet. We are happy with our culture and have no desire to change, and we really don't care how you did things where you came from.
You know what? You've convinced me. Gimme a stipend to survive on while I look for work, and fuck it, I'll go. I'll be back when the dicks who think like you are out of power.
This is OUR COUNTRY, our land, and our lifestyle.
I am a citizen, so I am included in the OUR. I I don't agree with a fucking xenophobic thing you've said. So, uh, like, fuck you and stuff.
Our First Amendment gives every citizen the right to express his opinion and we will allow you every opportunity to do so. But once you are done complaining, whining, and griping about our flag, our pledge, our national motto, or our way of life, I highly encourage you take advantage of one other great American freedom, THE RIGHT TO LEAVE.
Pay me, bitch. I'll leave.

Ah-nold is a Scumbag

Follow along.

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger wins a special election for Governor, campaigning that he will not take money from “special interests” and will not accept his $200,000 salary.

2. Days before taking office as California Governor, Arnold Schwarzenegger signs a minimum $5 Million contract with American Media, publisher of a number of fitness magazines. The contract states that says Schwartzenegger will “further the business interests” of American Media. Under the contract, his salary is directly linked to advertising revenue.

3. Fitness magazines such as those published by American Media derive huge amounts of money from advertising nutritional supplements and performance enhancing products.

4. A bill is introduced in the California legislature which would require high school coaches to be educated about nutritional supplements and performance enhancing products and would restrict their use by high school students.

5. The bill passes the legislature with no opposition.

6. Schwartzenegger vetoes the bill.

This is clearly a conflict of interest. The big question is: Do you care? If you don't, well then fuck you. I don't want to hear you complain about anything. This is an example of an abuse of power. Almost everything I bitch about concerns an abuse of power. If you're okay with people abusing their power, then just shut up and be okay with it, whoever is doing it, democrat or republican.

Dick Cheney’s Greatest Hits

August 26, 2002:
Simply stated, there is no doubt that Saddam now has weapons of mass destruction.
March 16, 2003:
My belief is we will, in fact, be greeted as liberators.
June 20, 2005:
The level of activity that we see today from a military standpoint, I think, will clearly decline. I think they're in the last throes, if you will, of the insurgency.
September 17, 2003:
"Our military is confronting the terrorists, along with our allies, in Iraq and Afghanistan," Cheney said in a speech in 2003, "so that innocent civilians will not have to confront terrorist violence in Washington or London or anywhere else in the world."
Valerie Plame was a covert agent for the CIA. Her field of expertise was Weapons of Mass Destruction. You know, those things we thought Saddam had and now we’re all worried about being killed by? So you can see how someone exposing her identity could be considered treasonous and against national security. And Karl Rove, Bush’s chief advisor, did just that by talking to different reporters about her for purely political reasons. That’s the Cliff’s Notes version of the present controversy. Everything else is just an attempt to distract from these basic facts.

Well, John Gibson, who somehow has his own show on Fox News, sees things differently. How does he feel about outing covert CIA agents?
I say give Karl Rove a medal, even if Bush has to fire him.
Why? Because Valerie Plame should have been outed by somebody. And if nobody else had the cojones to do it, I'm glad Rove did — if he did do it, and he still says he didn't.
First he hopes France gets a terrorist attack, now he supports outing covert agents. Let’s just call him what he is. He is a traitor. His loyalty is to the Republican Party, not the United States. He is quickly surpassing Joe Scarborough on the prententious-fake-patriot-asshole scale.


Fox News: Hate Group?

What a couple of days for Fox News. Absolutely disgusting.

First we have Brit Hume’s response to the London bombings:
I mean, my first thought when I heard -- just on a personal basis, when I heard there had been this attack and I saw the futures this morning, which were really in the tank, I thought, "Hmmm, time to buy."
Next, we have Fox host Brian Kilmeade and guest host Stuart Varney, who are stoked that another attack means we don’t have to talk about global warming or African aid anymore:
KILMEADE: And he [British Prime Minister Tony Blair] made the statement, clearly shaken, but clearly determined. This is his second address in the last hour. First to the people of London, and now at the G8 summit, where their topic Number 1 --believe it or not-- was global warming, the second was African aid. And that was the first time since 9-11 when they should know, and they do know now, that terrorism should be Number 1. But it's important for them all to be together. I think that works to our advantage, in the Western world's advantage, for people to experience something like this together, just 500 miles from where the attacks have happened.

VARNEY: It puts the Number 1 issue right back on the front burner right at the point where all these world leaders are meeting. It takes global warming off the front burner. It takes African aid off the front burner. It sticks terrorism and the fight on the war on terror, right up front all over again.


Next, a Fox News reporter claims Arabs living in London are not normal:
That these people are, If necessary, prepared to spill Arab blood in addition to the blood of regular -- of nonarab people living in London.
And finally, we have douchebag John Gibson, who on Wednesday (before the bombings) lamented the choice of London for the Olympics, virtually hoping for a terrorist attack in France:
It would have been a delight to have Parisians worried about security instead of New Yorkers. It would have been exquisite to watch.
But, alas, they picked London. I like the Brits. I like London. I hate to see them going through all this garbage when it would have been just fine in Paris.
C'est la vie. Goes to show the Olympic committee doesn't recognize the perfect opportunity when it presents itself.
Later (also before the bombings), he uttered this jewel:
By the way, just wanted to tell you people, we missed -- the International Olympic Committee missed a golden opportunity today. If they had picked France, if they had picked France instead of London to hold the Olympics, it would have been the one time we could look forward to where we didn't worry about terrorism. They'd blow up Paris, and who cares?
Way to go, Faux News! Just a matter of time before the Southern Poverty Law Center tracks you as a hate group.

Don't Fuck With A Scot

This is kinda old news, but my newfound respect for the British spirit made me think about it again.

If you’ve ever seen the British Parliament on C-SPAN, you’ve probably thought to yourself “damn, if the U.S. Congress was like that, my TV would be stuck on C-SPAN." Members do not necessarily adhere to the collegial style of politics practiced here. Insults fly. Accusations abound. Most importantly, the Prime Minister has to defend himself before the body on a regular basis, fielding hostile questions, and often giving as good as he gets.

Well, apparently some members of the U.S. Congress aren’t aware of the British tradition. Recently Norm Coleman, a Republican Senator from Minnesota, heald hearings on the so-called “Oil for Food” scandal (by the way, there is no scandal, if there were tankers of oil leaving Iraq whether by land or sea, do you really think we didn’t know?). Coleman basically accused George Galloway, a Scottish member of Parliament, of being complicit in the scandal and called on him to testify. Now, I don’t know if Coleman was simply unfamiliar with the feisty Galloway or if maybe he just felt Galloway wouldn’t bother to fly over to testify, but in any event, Galloway came and gave Coleman hell. The following is the text of Galloway’s response (video found here):

"Senator, I am not now, nor have I ever been, an oil trader. and neither has anyone on my behalf. I have never seen a barrel of oil, owned one, bought one, sold one - and neither has anyone on my behalf.

"Now I know that standards have slipped in the last few years in Washington, but for a lawyer you are remarkably cavalier with any idea of justice. I am here today but last week you already found me guilty. You traduced my name around the world without ever having asked me a single question, without ever having contacted me, without ever written to me or telephoned me, without any attempt to contact me whatsoever. And you call that justice.

"Now I want to deal with the pages that relate to me in this dossier and I want to point out areas where there are - let's be charitable and say errors. Then I want to put this in the context where I believe it ought to be. On the very first page of your document about me you assert that I have had 'many meetings' with Saddam Hussein. This is false.

"I have had two meetings with Saddam Hussein, once in 1994 and once in August of 2002. By no stretch of the English language can that be described as "many meetings" with Saddam Hussein.

"As a matter of fact, I have met Saddam Hussein exactly the same number of times as Donald Rumsfeld met him. The difference is Donald Rumsfeld met him to sell him guns and to give him maps the better to target those guns. I met him to try and bring about an end to sanctions, suffering and war, and on the second of the two occasions, I met him to try and persuade him to let Dr Hans Blix and the United Nations weapons inspectors back into the country - a rather better use of two meetings with Saddam Hussein than your own Secretary of State for Defence made of his.

"I was an opponent of Saddam Hussein when British and Americans governments and businessmen were selling him guns and gas. I used to demonstrate outside the Iraqi embassy when British and American officials were going in and doing commerce…

"Now, Senator, I gave my heart and soul to oppose the policy that you promoted. I gave my political life's blood to try to stop the mass killing of Iraqis by the sanctions on Iraq which killed one million Iraqis, most of them children, most of them died before they even knew that they were Iraqis, but they died for no other reason other than that they were Iraqis with the misfortune to born at that time. I gave my heart and soul to stop you committing the disaster that you did commit in invading Iraq. And I told the world that your case for the war was a pack of lies.

“I told the world that Iraq, contrary to your claims did not have weapons of mass destruction. I told the world, contrary to your claims, that Iraq had no connection to al-Qaeda. I told the world, contrary to your claims, that Iraq had no connection to the atrocity on 9/11 2001. I told the world, contrary to your claims, that the Iraqi people would resist a British and American invasion of their country and that the fall of Baghdad would not be the beginning of the end, but merely the end of the beginning.

"Senator, in everything I said about Iraq, I turned out to be right and you turned out to be wrong and 100,000 people paid with their lives; 1600 of them American soldiers sent to their deaths on a pack of lies; 15,000 of them wounded, many of them disabled forever on a pack of lies.

If the world had listened to Kofi Annan, whose dismissal you demanded, if the world had listened to President Chirac who you want to paint as some kind of corrupt traitor, if the world had listened to me and the anti-war movement in Britain, we would not be in the disaster that we are in today. Senator, this is the mother of all smokescreens. You are trying to divert attention from the crimes that you supported, from the theft of billions of dollars of Iraq's wealth.

"Have a look at the real Oil-for-Food scandal. Have a look at the 14 months you were in charge of Baghdad, the first 14 months when $8.8 billion of Iraq's wealth went missing on your watch. Have a look at Haliburton and other American corporations that stole not only Iraq's money, but the money of the American taxpayer.

"Have a look at the oil that you didn't even meter, that you were shipping out of the country and selling, the proceeds of which went who knows where? Have a look at the $800 million you gave to American military commanders to hand out around the country without even counting it or weighing it.

"Have a look at the real scandal breaking in the newspapers today, revealed in the earlier testimony in this committee. That the biggest sanctions busters were not me or Russian politicians or French politicians. The real sanctions busters were your own companies with the connivance of your own Government."

We here love to paint the British as dainty pansies. But in reality, their history of bloodshed and misery makes ours look like a drop in the bucket. They were bombed relentlessly as recently as WWII and have been dealing with terrorism (in the form of the IRA) for much longer than us. Is it any wonder the recent bombings had about zero effect on the average Brit? No bumper stickers, no lapels, no Union Jack plastering everything. The lesson here is: Ignore the polite appearances; don’t condescend to a Brit. And that goes double for the Scots.

Larry David and John Bolton

There are a ton of reasons to oppose John Bolton as U.S. Ambassador to the U.N. For one, he is on record as despising the UN. Furthermore, it has been shown that he knowingly omits or adds information to reports to fit his preconceived notions. When people refuse to doctor information for him, he works to get them fired. He’s also happens to be a horrible boss, losing control and freaking out on people when reality doesn’t fit his outlook (he’s been known to actually chase people).

The first couple of things I mentioned are the most important reasons to oppose him, but his asshole nature as a boss is what has become the focus, since most of us have had asshole bosses. Well, Larry David (co-creator of Seinfeld and star of Curb Your Enthusiasm) wrote a hilarious piece for the Huffington Post where he empathizes with poor old Mr. Bolton:

I know this may not sound politically correct, but as someone who has abused and tormented employees and underlings for years, I am dismayed by all of this yammering directed at John Bolton. Let's face it, the people who are screaming the loudest at Bolton have never been a boss and have no idea what it’s like to deal with nitwits as dumb as themselves all day long. Why, even this morning my moronic assistant handed me a cup of coffee with way too much milk in it. I was incensed.

"You stupid ignoramus," I screamed, doing all I could to restrain myself from tossing the luke-warm liquid in her face. “There's too much freaking (I didn’t say freaking) milk in here! What the freak is wrong with you?!”

“I’m sorry, sir,” she stammered. Like sorry’s going to fix everything. I’m not interested in sorry. Sorry doesn’t cut it with me.

“Look, you idiot,” I continued, “I wouldn’t mind so much if you gave me too little milk. Little can be fixed. We can add to little.”

“Shall I get you another cup?”

“No, I’ll suck on my thumb. Yes, get me another cup, you douche bag! And chew on this -- it’s going to cost you a dollar!”

This, of course, brought on the requisite tears. At which point I'd had enough and began chasing her down the hall where she took refuge in the bathroom. Boo-hoo. Poor thing!

Meanwhile, I’m the one who had to go into the kitchen and make my own coffee! And guess what? I missed a very important phone call from this masseuse whom I’d been trying to get an appointment with forever!!

(Sorry about all the exclamation points, but you can see how worked up I get over this Bolton business!)

There is one thing, though, I’ll guarantee: that will be the last time she puts in too much milk. So get to work, Bolton. Show these other countries who’s the boss.

Brilliant! Larry David obviously has a lucrative writing career ahead of him. He doesn’t need the money, but we need the entertainment.


So this Ronald Reagan worshipping religious nut invites himself into my cubicle and decides to start up a conversation about politics. The conversation turns to gays, and at some point his face contorts into a look of absolute hate, his voice changes, and he states, “if I could, I’d shoot them myself.” He was not joking. He was dead serious.

My problem with this situation wasn’t what he said or the way he said it. Long ago I realized that people this obsessed with homosexuality are simply closeted, self-hating gays who are doing all the can to repress the way they really feel, and it manifests itself in hate. No, my problem was my reaction. Silence. Then, a change of subject before I politely stated I had to get back to work.

This was a perfect situation to tell someone off, and I failed. He initiated the conversation in my cubicle, so however I chose to express myself would have been justified. But I just sat there.

After he left I was sitting there, mad at myself, and the thought popped up: What Would Avery Do?

You see, Avery is my good friend in San Diego, and if this would have happened in his cubicle, things would have gone down differently. Oh, there would have been words. I’m sure there would have been some “fuck you”’s and “fuck off”’s mixed in, and they would have been totally necessary and justified
I’m tired of trying to politely respond to people who say stupid things to my face and send me ignorant email about immigrants, the war, race, whatever. Maybe my silence leads them to believe I'm okay with it. So fuck it. If they have no shame in expressing their views to me, whether to my face or in their stupid fucking emails, then, instead of being diplomatic, I’m going to think WWAD? and let the profanities fly. Besides, I have health insurance.

Actually, I’ll probably do the same old nice guy song and dance as usual, but it feels good to take a fake stand once in a while.


How safe do you feel now?

As today’s bombings sink in, I am getting more and more pissed. But I have a constructive idea: GO GET FUCKING OSAMA BIN LADEN! I don’t care if it pisses Pakistan off. I don’t care who it pisses off. The bullshit needs to stop NOW. We’ve known the general area Osama has been hiding in for YEARS and have done NOTHING. Wait, we have done some things. We invaded Iraq, who hadn’t done shit to us, shifting troops away from Afghanistan. Oh yeah, remember Afghanistan? We went to war with them and about 99.9% of us supported it. Then we abandoned them, sending most of our resources to Iraq, and guess what? Surprise, surprise, the Taliban is getting stronger and stronger. Way to go Georgie boy. Iraq is a mess which is now a training ground for terrorists, Afghanistan is backsliding back into chaos, Osama is still out there, and terrorist attacks are still occurring. Since 9/11 there have been major attacks in Bali, Madrid, Saudi Arabia, Kenya, and now London. You think we’re immune? Nine years passed between the 93 WTC bombing at the 9/11 attacks. So you tell me, what has this “war president” actually accomplished? Why are we not in the streets calling for his resignation? And why is the news covering runaway brides and shark attacks? I have no illusions that getting Osama would end terrorism, but right about now it would sate my bloodthirst and let me sleep a whole lot fucking better. To quote a lame hardcore band: Where's your anger? Where's your fucking rage?

I <3 England

Speaking of the British, over the past couple of years I have undergone a conversion. I used to despise England and anything British. I didn’t get their humor. Pictures of England just looked depressing and cold. The food sucked. They taxed us without representation.
Anyways, I don’t know what happened, but suddenly I get the humor and love it (I wish there were people here in America with the balls of Mark Thomas). Suddenly, I want to go to England. Fish and chips? Pretty damn good. And since we kicked their asses during the American Revolution (Thanks, France!), I’ll let the taxation thing go.
So, in response to the terrorists attacks, you are going to hear the phrase “We are all Brits today”. A couple of years ago, this would have left a bad taste in my mouth. Today, I say: Gladly.


Another day, another terrorist attack. Now, all the facts and all the analyses are not yet in, so I’m going to make some leaps of logic here, so please bear with me.
The terrorist bombings in London appear to be timed to coincide with the G-8 Summit. Now the G-8 and its push for globalization have stirred up protests and violence before, but this time the focus of the summit was poverty and AIDS in Africa. There’s a serious chance of getting everyone on board and addressing these crucial issues, so I don’t understand the protests this time around. Can’t we all agree ending poverty and AIDS is a good thing? But now I wonder if the focus of the summit will now be switched to terrorism. I have a feeling Africa will again draw the shortest straw. I know I will be called a traitor for saying so, but some of the reasons given for previous terrorists attacks are valid (NOTE: I AM SAYING THE COMPLAINTS ARE VALID, NOT THE RESPONSE). But this I do not get no matter how hard I try. I can only deduce that the terrorists hate Africa.
UPDATE: Apparently Fox News is glad this happened to take the focus off of Africa.