the chargers, analyzed

I've watched every Chargers game this year. I've done in depth analsyis of each phase of the game: coaching, offense, defense, special teams, and I believe I have pinpointed the exact cause of the Chargers woes this season:

They suck.

dear norv

Just a wacky idea I had.

If you have 3rd and 8, how about instead of a three-yard pass, or a 30-yard pass, how about we try, I don't know, let's say A FUCKING NINE YARD PASS?!?!?!

Carzy, I know. This kind of reasoning is why you're a head coach and I'm not.

chipotle is soylent green

My Chipotle cup on Sunday was a slight bit disturbing.

bailout

Questions:

What are the healthiest banks at the moment? What did they do right? What did they avoid doing wrong? Couldn't they somehow be rewarded with the business that the failing banks screwed up?

I don't understand capital markets and international banking, so I'm sure there is a good answer to that last question. But I'd still like to hear it.

palin-turkey outtakes

vikings

SC maintains that the logo on the Minnesota Vikings helmets looks like sperm and the team should now be known as the Minnesota Load.

That is all. Thank you and God Bless.

a long two months ahead

Just when I thought I was out, he keeps pulling me back in...

In recent days, the Bush administration announced new rules to speed oil shale development across 2 million rocky acres in the West. It scheduled an auction for drilling rights alongside three national parks. It has also set in motion processes to finalize major changes in endangered species protection, allow more mining waste to flow into rivers and streams, and exempt factory farms from air pollution reporting.

I'm sure the Central Valley, which has a ton of factory farms AND some of the worst air pollution in the nation (#2 Bakersfield, #3 Visalia, #5 Fresno, #6 Sacramento), will be stoked to hear that.

But hey, it's not like the Bush Administration is poisoning children or anything.

Oh.

Looking to bolster the fight against childhood lead poisoning, the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency last month approved a tough new rule aimed at clearing the nation's air of the toxic metal.

A key part of the initiative is a new network of monitors that will track lead emissions from factories. But the Bush administration quietly weakened that provision at the last minute by exempting dozens of polluters from scrutiny, federal documents show.

Critics say the change undermines a rule that otherwise has been widely hailed as a powerful step forward in protecting children's health.

January 20th can not come soon enough.

fecal transplant

One of the better decisions I made this week was to add the Google Trends RSS feed to my Google Reader. It's oddly compelling to see what the popular searches are at any given time. But then, tonight, guess what ended up #1? Answer: #2.

I didn't click through, because I don't want to know. Sometimes, ignorance really is bliss.

well, that's one way

From my Google Reader inbox:



Nice ad placement!

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birthday recap

• SC
• Pixie
• New Yorker
• Coffee
• Mouse
• Rei Do Gado
• Extraordinary Desserts
• Arrested Development
• Happiness
  

punk singers

IGN made a list of the top 10 punk singers. It looks like this:

• 10. David Vanian - The Damned
• 09. Joey Ramone - The Ramones
• 08. Greg Graffin - Bad Religion
• 07. Henry Rollins - Black Flag
• 06. Chad Price - All
• 05. H.R. - Bad Brains
• 04. Blake Scharzenbach- Jawbreaker
• 03. Johnny Rotten - Sex Pistols
• 02. Ari Katz - Lifetime
• 01. Glen Danzig - Misfits

"Best" lists are completly subjective, I get that. Different strokes and all that. But c'mon. The inclusion of Ari Katz and Chad Price is a joke. Greg Graffin does not belong on this list - it says singers, not lyricists.

So here's my list of my favorite punk vocalists. Not the "best", but my favorite, stating now that I value uniqueness and attitude as the main components of a great singer.

10. Kim Shattuck - The Muffs



09. Patrick Costello - Dillinger Four



08. Bob Mould - Husker Du



 07. Jake Burns - Stiff Little Fingers



06. Tesco Vee - The Meatmen



05. Glen Danzig - The Misfits



04. Jello Biafra - Dead Kennedys



3 Keith Morris - Circle Jerks/Black Flag



02. Blaine Cook - The Accused/The Fartz



01. H.R. - Bad Brains



Now for the honorable mentions:

Joey Ramone - The Ramones



Joe Strummer - The Clash



Fat Mike - NoFX



John Brannon - Negative Approach



Eric Ozenne - Nerve Agents/Redemption 87/Unit Pride



Eric Davidson - New Bomb Turks



Jerry A - Poison Idea



Darby Crash - The Germs



Springa -SSD



Blake Scharzenbach- Jawbreaker



Doc Corbin Dart - The Crucifucks



Leonard Phillips - The Dickies



And of course, GG Allin

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annoying phrases

Oxford University cites these as the top ten irritating phrases:

1 - At the end of the day
2 - Fairly unique
3 - I personally
4 - At this moment in time
5 - With all due respect
6 - Absolutely
7 - It's a nightmare
8 - Shouldn't of
9 - 24/7
10 - It's not rocket science

But it seems they forgot THE most irritatating phrase:

It is what it is.

What other phrases did they miss? Comment please.

what would an elitist drive?

Ladies and gentleman, the Dodge Neon.

Natasha Brown knows what drives Barack Obama, or at least what he used to drive.

The 21-year-old Broadview woman owns the 2000 Dodge Neon that once belonged to the president-elect. Illinois secretary of state records show Obama briefly owned the four-door car and sold it to a suburban dealership in January 2005, just a few weeks before being sworn in as a U.S. senator. 

I would definitely check the trunk for residual arugula.

wait, what?

Prince is fucking straight?

Prince, who has written and performed such randy hits as Little Red Corvette and Kiss has this to say about gay marriage: he'll support it when doves cry. 

"God came to earth and saw people sticking it wherever and doing it with whatever," he says in the current issue of the New Yorker magazine. "And he just cleared it all out. He was, like, 'Enough.'"

 Up is down, left is right, black is white, Prince is straight.

protesting prop 8

I don't understand the protests over Proposition 8.

I voted No on 8, and I'm bummed that it passed. But it did pass. So I would just ask those protesting, what exactly are you trying to accomplish? The vote was last week.

There's another election in 2 years. Wouldn't a better idea be to start doing outreach into communities that you may be able to win over to your side? Get the ball rolling. The other side never quits, you shouldn't either. Get a pro-gay marriage proposition onto the 2010 ballot. If it fails, well there's 2012, 2014, so and so on. That's one upside of the referendum process.

Prop 22 passed by over 20 points in 2000. Prop 8 won by only 4. Progress has been made. Focus you energy where it can make a difference. I gaurantee you, your protests are only preaching to the choir. Time to build some bridges.

You are on the right side of history. Don't let the bitterness of Prop 8 cloud that.

i have very poor taste in music

At one point this was my favorite song:



Holy shnikeys. In my defense, I was in like, fourth grade or something. Aldo Nova was like the underground, badass version of Loverboy.

Pretty bad, eh? But wait, it gets better/worse:



Forgive me.

ta-ta, joe

I don't understand why there's even a moment's hesitation about how to handle the Joe Lieberman situation. So long, Joe. End of story.

Joe spoke at the Republican convention. Joe backed the Republican candidate. Joe disparaged the Democratic nominee. There's no price to pay for this behavior?

Even if Democrats needed Lieberman to get a filibuster proof 60 votes*, I would still send him packing from the chairmanship of any important committees. If he wants to caucus with the Democrats, then he should do so based on his position on the issue, not because the Democratic leadership did him a favor. Likewise, if he wants to caucus with the Republicans, he should do so based on his position on the issue, not just to spite Democrats. To base your vote on who was nicer to you, that's just repulsive.

You can't have it both ways, Joe. Democrats are weak for even discussing the issue. Obama is much more forgiving than I would be. I'm not saying you have to be a complete dick to Lieberman, but a demotion of some sort is in order. 

Grow a pair, Democrats.

*By the way, what happened to the days when Republican whined all day long about an "up or down vote" when the Democrats filibustered even one thing? Now that they are in the minority, using a filibuster is the norm. Funny how that works.

music to my ears

To the winner goes the spoils.

Transition advisers to President-elect Barack Obama have compiled a list of about 200 Bush administration actions and executive orders that could be swiftly undone to reverse White House policies on climate change, stem cell research, reproductive rights and other issues, according to congressional Democrats, campaign aides and experts working with the transition team.

huh?

The Daily Beast:

Yesterday, Barack Obama was awarded the electoral vote of Omaha's congressional district in Nebraska, which, along with Maine, is the only state in the union to split its electoral votes by district. 

How can you be the "only" state, "along with" another one? "Are the only states" is what you were going for.

Why I'm being a grammar Nazi on a Saturday morning, I have no idea.

it's not over yet

Oh God. 

In May, the White House said it wanted to avoid the rush of “midnight regulations” that had occurred at the end of other administrations. But Bush administration officials said this week that they still intended to issue, or relax, many economic, environmental, health and safety rules before they leave office on Jan. 20.

Nevermind that the election was a total refutation of your governance. Forge ahead, assholes.

why obama won

He was the better candidate.

The End.

effing padres

The Padres are trying to trade a pitcher (Jake Peavy) and a shortstop (Khalil Greene) for.....a shortstop and some pitching.

Wha...?

Seeing how Peavy and Greene are my two favorite players on the club, I'm supposed to pay money to see them in a tight economy why, exactly?

With Matt Vasgersian gone, I don't even know how I can bear to watch on TV.

the truth hurts

8 years

I'd like to thank the following Hollywood Elites, in no particular order, for getting me through the last eight years:

David Cross
Al Franken
Marc Maron
Sam Seder
Janeane Garofalo
Kent Jones aka Lawton Smalls
Jon Stewart
Stephen Colbert
David Letterman
Michael Moore
Bill Maher
Rob Corrdry
Ed Helms
Samantha Bee
John Hodgeman
All of the other Daily Show correspondents

(Let me interject here that Air America, specifically Morning Sedition and the Al Franken Show, got me through my post-2004 election depression. I thought they were both great, vastly underrated shows. Air America deserved to fail for canceling Morning Sedition in particular.)

You were all a silver lining on a dark cloud and a very cheap method of therapy. 

honeymoon

Lest you get the wrong idea from my last blog, I fully realize that between now and January 20 is as good as it will get for Obama. I hear the right wing saying how they hope Obama succeeds. Maybe, yet it's always followed with a "but", so forgive me if I don't exactly believe them.

Their disdain for Obama will now be unhindered by the distraction of trying to promote their own candidate. Obama will have to bear the full brunt of attacks. Any mistake will be amplified. Any questionable quote taken out of context will be scrutinized and held up as evidence of some ulterior motive. All of those who excoriated Democrats for not always supporting President Bush will suffer from a bout of collective amnesia now that the President is a Democrat.

I just hope their hyteria doesn't lead me to defensivley protect Obama at all costs. Obama is going to do some shit I do not approve of. I'm okay with that, but I also would like to be intellectually honest and call him out when he does. I don't want to be like "them" - the Malkins, the Oshrys, the VD Hansons - and continually defend the indefensible.

If you thought BDS was bad, wait until you get a peek at ODS. I set the over/under on right-wing calls for impeachment at May 2009. 

mr soandso

Probably would have never noticed if they hadn't pointed it out:

working the poll

Yesterday was the greatest.

I was a poll worker in a Normal Heights precinct. It was my first time doing something like this. But my motives were not altruistic; I selfishly wanted to be a part of history.

When I arrived at 0530, there was a single person in line waiting. By the time the poll opened at 0700, the line had grown to a few dozen. Shortly after 0700, the line snaked around a little patio garden and and onto the sidewalk, maybe 50 people. That's as bad as it got, though. Besides the initial rush, no one else had to wait over a couple of minutes.

I worked in a dual precinct, and there was a lot of confusion as to who needed to go to what precinct. So directing voters to the correct precinct became my job. Which immediately led to my first insight (may only apply to California): BRING YOUR VOTER PAMPHLET WITH YOU. Not only does it explicitly state your precinct, it makes it much faster to find you on the voter rolls. None of this "How do you spell your last name? What street do you live on?" Just hand the guide off and you're set. Those who brought their pamplet had a much easier time than those who didn't. It had never occurred to me to do so, but from here on out it will be the norm.

Those who had worked previous elections said that turnout was absolutely heavier than any other recent election. It seemed odd to me, because we had some periods of a few minutes when no one came into the precinct. But I was told that in a "normal" election there are up to twenty-minute chunks when no one comes in.

Normal Heights is pretty ethnically mixed, so I wasn't surprised to see so many Black and Latino voters. But I was still a little choked up by it. There were so many people who said that it was their first time voting. And these were middle aged voters, and not all of them were Black. You could feel the excitement. Not just from them, but everyone: young, old, Black, White, Latino, Asian, disabled, whoever. Of course, I don't know how they actually voted, but I have an idea. I note that this process made me realize I live in an amazing extended neighborhood (Kensington-Normal Heights).

But the most bestest part of the day were the black children. I'll use one particular family as an example of what I mean. There are four of them: Mom, Dad, and two kids, in the range of 8-12. We set up some chairs for people who were waiting, so the kids waited there while their parents voted. These kids had no idea how significant this was. Well, they might have some idea. I'm sure their parents had explained the significance to them. I'm not qualified to say at what age the concept of race and all the stuff that comes with it kicks in, but there's no doubt that as far as race goes, their parents went through more far more than they did. And their grandparents even more, and so on until you get a timeline back to the reason all of this matters so much: slavery.  Then the full realization of what was going to happen hits you. Holy shit. These kids will grow up and barely remember when there was no black president.

I don't really know how to put into words what I felt, and apologies if I've worded any of this in a confusing or insensitive manner. I realize it's probably a little douche-y to be a lily-white guy, who has never been affected by any sort of discrimination, co-opting this moment as proof of his country's redemption.

But I cannot deny that yesterday was one of the best days of my life.

prop 8

The California Constitution is a piss poor excuse for a constitution. Any constitution that allows you to amend it with a simple majority vote is a lame one. Now, I know that the idea behind the initiative process is to give "the people" a larger say, but a constitution's principles should represent the core values of a population, and yet be vague enough to provide some leeway for interpretation. It shouldn't be subject to 50% + 1 sways of the public opinion. If 50% + 1 decide that "equal protection" just isn't that important, then that's what our Constitution will reflect. Pathetic. The United States Constitution is the best example of what a constitution can be. The California Constitution, on the other hand, is a joke.

Today, for the first time ever, I'm prouder of Ohio, Indiana, North Carolina, Virginia and Florida than I am of my home state. Those states had some fucking balls on Tuesday. We're supposed to be the example. What we do here tends becomes the (mostly) nationwide norm down the line. What the fuck?

communion

Hertzberg:

I’ve always loved the experience of voting. For an unchurched secularist like me, it’s the closest I’m likely to get to the feeling of sacred solidarity which I imagine believers derive from their religious rituals.

Exactly how I feel.

election bukkake

See more funny videos and funny pictures at CollegeHumor.

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vote, mf'ers

The late, great David Foster Wallace in Up, Simba:

Assuming you are demographically a Young Voter, it is again worth a moment of your valuable time to consider the implications of the techs’ last couple points. If you are bored and disgusted by politics and don’t bother to vote, you are in effect voting for the entrenched Establishments of the two major parties, who please rest assured are not dumb, and who are keenly aware that it is in their interests to keep you disgusted and bored and cynical and to give you every possible psychological reason to stay at home doing one-hitters and watching MTV on primary day. By all means, stay home if you want, but don’t bullshit yourself that you’re not voting. In reality, there is no such thing as not voting: you either vote by voting, or you vote by staying home and tacitly doubling the value of some Diehard’s vote.

another if

IF Obama wins tomorrow, it sucks that neither his grandma or Studs Terkel made it long enough to witness it from Earth.

shot heard round the world

When Bobby Thompson hit the walk-off home run that won the National League pennant for the New York Giants in 1951, the official attendance at the Polo Grounds, where the game was played, was a mere 34,320. Unofficial attendance is estimated at about 56,000. Yet, if you counted all the people who later said they were there, that figure would easily reach well into the six figures.

If, I repeat IF (and I'm freakin' out right about now), Obama wins the presidential election, I wonder how many people who didn't vote for him will later say that the did. I mean, when your grandchild asks you about the historic election of 2008, do you want to tell him or her that you were pulling for the cranky old white guy? My guess is that a poll taken in 2030 on how people voted would look 80% - 20%.

maximumbaracknroll

I bought the awesomest shirt. Maximumrocknroll + Barack Obama = Yes, please.



Available at No Idea Records.

EDIT: Ooops. I posted a video instead of the pic. Fixed. My bad.

best. obama ad. evar.