Bill O'Reilly & Don Quixote, Hunting Windmills

I can't believe millions of Americans watch and trust this nuerotic, paranoid motherfucker Bill O'Reilly. Lately he's been on his yearly "War On Christmas" crusade, insisting that there is a plot to take away Christmas. His evidence? Hold on to your seats....some stores are actually, get this, saying "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas". I KNOW!!! WHAT THE FUCK?!?!?! THOSE ANTI-CHRISTMAS, HOMOSEXUAL, JEW LOVING "STORES", KILL THEM ALL!!!

I hate to break it to Bill, but there is no "war" on Christmas and there never was. He made it up. I do not know of one person who is offended by the word Christmas, or a store using it. It's a fake crusade. Sure, there are a few examples of schools and other places going a bit overboard, but a few examples do not a war make. If stores prefer to use "holidays" over "Christmas", they are thinking about dollars. They want Jews, Muslims, Agnostics, Athiests, Devil Worshippers, Wiccans, EVERYBODY, to start spending this time of year. Now if you are a good Christian, and you are helping the poor, going to church, turning the other cheek, being a good person, whatever you people do, and you are sure that you will be welcomed into the Kingdom of Heaven when your days are done, does it seriously bother you that Big Lots says "Happy Holidays" rather than "Merry Christmas"? Apparently it bothers Big Bad Bill, cable TV toughguy and egomaniac. Do these sound like the words of a sane man?

I am not going to let oppressive, totalitarian, anti-Christian forces in this country diminish and denigrate the holiday and the celebration. I am not going to let it happen. I'm gonna use all the power that I have on radio and television to bring horror into the world of people who are trying to do that.

Keith Olbermann: "Bill, just remember, to bring horror into this world, all you have to do is open your mouth."

And we have succeeded. You know we've succeeded. They are on the run in corporations, in the media, everywhere. They are on the run, because I will put their face and their name on television, and I will talk about them on the radio if they do it. There is no reason on this earth that all of us cannot celebrate a public holiday devoted to generosity, peace, and love together.

That's right. No better way to celebrate generosity, peace, and love than threatening and bringing "horror" to those who happen to disagree with your fucked-up outlook.

There is no reason on the earth that we can't do that. So we are going to do it. And anyone who tries to stop us from doing it is gonna face me.

Oh yeah, Bill? Me and you, after school, between the bike racks and the tetherball courts. You're dead meat.