5.03.2006

Steven Colbert, American Hero

So, every year the White House and the press have this big circle jerk called The White House Correspondents' Association Dinner. It's usually a mild-mannered affair where the President pokes some fun at himself, and then an invited guest does the same. It's usually not very controversial, but this year it was.

Steven Colbert, star of The Colbert Report on Comedy Central, was the invited guest. Apparently organizers were unaware of what Colbert does, which is to display the ineptitude of the Bush Administration by playing a parody of an extreme right wing talk show host who unabashedly supports the president. Anyone who appreciates irony, and sarcasm gets it. Those who don't, well, don't. There's not a lot of grey. You either get it or you don't.

Colbert proceeded to unleash an absolutely blistering satirical monologue against both the Bush Administration and the press, which has all to often not asked the tough questions. Well, since the press and the administration were in attendence, there was not a lot of reaction to many of the jokes. Apparently, the overall mood was "uncomfortable", as the crowd was probably expecting a lame, comedy-lite, Jay Leno-ish ribbing instead of an effective comedic critique of all that is wrong with the Bush Administration.

But do not confuse the lack of laughter with Colbert not being funny. Colbert was hilarious. A lot of the bloggers on the right are saying that Colbert was being rude, ungrateful, and just plain not funny. Nonsense. They don't know what they are talking about, perhaps because they are right wing bloggers.

If you don't think the routine was funny, you are an idiot. "But Jerry, everyone has their own opinion." Yes, but see, here's the thing: your opinion is wrong. There's not a debate on the matter. If you don't think it was funny, I'm guessing you are a big fan of Carrot Top and Rob Schneider movies, and therefore unqualified to comment on the subject of what's funny and what is not.

That Colbert was funny was great. That he said this stuff unflinchingly to the president's face is fantastic. That the president was pissed and the crowd was in stunned silence was motherfucking priceless.

You can download a video of the event here.

My favorite lines are:
I believe the government that governs best is the government that governs least. And by these standards, we have set up a fabulous government in Iraq.

Sir, pay no attention to the people who say the glass is half empty, because 32% means it's 2/3 empty. There's still some liquid in that glass is my point, but I wouldn't drink it. The last third is usually backwash.

The greatest thing about this man is he's steady. You know where he stands. He believes the same thing Wednesday that he believed on Monday, no matter what happened Tuesday.

So the White House has personnel changes. Then you write, "Oh, they're just rearranging the deck chairs on the Titanic." First of all, that is a terrible metaphor. This administration is not sinking. This administration is soaring. If anything, they are rearranging the deck chairs on the Hindenburg!

Mayor Nagin is here from New Orleans, the chocolate city! Yeah, give it up. Mayor Nagin, I'd like to welcome you to Washington, D.C., the chocolate city with a marshmallow center.
If you think Colbert is a hero, you can thank him at Thank You, Steven Colbert.

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