comedy headline of the day

Good luck with that.

McCain on the economy: “a lot of our problems today, as you know, are psychological”

McCain on the Bush economic record, "I think if you look at the overall record and millions of jobs have been created, et cetera, et cetera, you could make an argument that there’s been great progress economically over that period of time.”

McCain on post-Katrina New Orleans: “That’s why we need to go back to have a conversation about what to do about it. Rebuild it? Tear it down? Ya know, whatever it is.”

And of course,

bitchy

I'm seriously starting to think that the key motivating factor in McCain's campaign is uncontrollable jealously.

zeke - fight in the storeroom ep (1994)

In 1994 I was doing a radio show at KFSR (Fresno State), and we got this particular 7-inch in. I had never heard of Zeke, but I liked it a lot, and so I played it a lot. Immediately went out and bought the Super Sound Racing LP.  At the time, I was relatively new to the punk scene; I lived in Lemoore during the easrly 80's and was culturally isolated. But the response from the old school punks who listened to my show was overwhelming. "Who the hell was that?" was the typical positive response. In the days of Epi-Fat mall punk, the old schoolers were dying for something like Zeke. I loaned the SSR CD to Little Jon, and , understandably, that bad boy was gone forever.

Click to Download
 

cuz the rockman got em & they butts just dropped

Even though this was the album of my junior year, I had now idea that POB had a video...

showbiz

So, suddenly there seems to be this wave of Showbiz Pizza nostalgia. There's a documentary...



choreographed videos...



All I can say, motherfuckers, is that I was straight up OG on the Rockafire tip. And I have the photographic evidence to prove it, bitches.

republicans + music = tragedy/comedy

Holy Christ.

Seriously, I could argue til I'm blue in the face about why you should vote for Obama. I could give you a point by point argument on a whole range of issues as to why Obama is the better candidate.

But nothing I could say would have the effect of watching the following two videos.





You know what to do election day.

your mother - sometimes scott jones is our roadie ep (1996)

One of my favorite bands from the whole mid-90's Probe Records scene-type thing. Goof-punk, at its finest. Ladies and gentleman, the always appreciated-yet-underappreciated Your Mother!



Here's a teaser song, "Greg, Ex-Masturbator"




Get the rest below.

DOWNLOAD YOUR MOTHER - SOMETIMES SCOTT JONES IS OUR ROADIE EP

youtube university

Things I learned today from YouTube:

1 ) Despite no one else having ever heard of it, Superfuzz and its awesome theme song DO actually exist.  I have been waiting 20 years to confirm this and to hear this song again. Thanks YouTube.



2) Despite the awesomeness of the Superfuzz theme, the Fraggle Rock theme may be the catchiest theme song ever. This song is begging to be remade by a punk band.



3) Jan from The Office was on the infoumous "punk" episode of Quincy (nice catch, SC).



4) The 80's fucking ruled. How did I make it through life without this:



5) And finally, there were a lot of "special" episodes of sitcoms, but none were as creepy as the Different Strokes molester episode.



6) Although this comes close:



Time well spent, I'm sure you will agree.

ditto

Atrios:

I've never quite been able figure out why the image of the burning twin towers is seen by Republicans as something in their favor. In my universe the timeline goes something like this:

Jan 20, 2001 Bush Inaugurated
Jan 25, 2001 Richard Clarke sends Condi Rice memo, warning about al Qaeda. Rice does nothing.
August 6, 2001 Bush gets memo titled "Bin Laden Determined to strike in US." Bush responds by telling the briefer, "All right. You've covered your ass, now." Then does nothing.
September 11, 2001 Bin Laden strikes in US.

fart barf

While SC maintains it is the perfect description of the women's bathroom at the McDonald's in Delano, California that it was found outside of, I maintain it is (or would be) the greatest name for a punk band ever. In any case, awesome sticker.

my favorite spam

This is simply the best spam email I've ever received. There are just so many remarkable things about it.

The concept of a "Yahoo(News)Lottery."
And that it would be based in Thailand.
And the logo with the pig.
And the star-spangled background.
And the "ongoing 12 Years Yahoo lottery Award of the New Year."
And that a lottery would be funded by corporation's "social responsibilities."
But most of all, Dr. Raymond Hisashi.

It's beautiful:

happy cow shit & the magical punk elf

I was walking in front of a Carl's, Jr in Riverside (don't ask) this morning when I saw a piece of lined paper with some writing on it. And whenever I see a piece of lined paper with writing on it, I pick it up. Cause you never know. Today, it paid off. Above is the paper in question. I've reproduced the text below. All typos and misspellings are as they appeared in the original text. In bold are the words I could not figure out. This is the greatest thing I've ever found. Ready? Here we go:

Prologue The life of a younge lad whos interest in music was vast and wid. The kookie tree was full of cookies when all of a sudden a rumbling rumble rumbled the house. All the kookies on the walls fell, off the shelfs, crashing to the floor in a cookie crumble mess, which was worse than the time Michael Jay Fox grew a beard. The tree filled with crumbled cookies attracted many animals of the ravenous type. With their teeth exposed they kindly asked for some kookies. But they were too stupid to realize they were dying. They all had cancer, everyone did. Then the years passed and there was no hero. Wigs were the high selling aparel. Five thousand a pop. Only the ritch could afford hair. So Mr. Freeze was out of luck. The radics made gangs to rob truck carrying wigs, and sell them on the black market. Some wigs had bombs in them and people died. Then as the human population was in a freefall, a hero arose! This hero was known as happy cow shit. Happy cow shit was a super-human cow. This cow could cure cancer by smoking ciggaretss and producing milk, his mother was was a spanish prostitude with nine toes. She died from cancer. This little cow's milk had the potential to write music too, not just any music, punk music. Oi! Some songs this magical elf could play were “Anarchy in the U.K.” “God save the queen” “kill a hippie” and actuallity is dead”

(At this point the handwriting changes and a pen is used. Obviously a new writer took over. I prefer writer #1. It's sort of like Alice Randall taking over for Margret Mitchell [You like that, SC?])

Then the elf realized Punk sucked and killed himself like the emo bitch he was. Everyone was happy cause the elf sucked more then happy cow shits mom. The elf cut off his toes and let himself bleed to death after watching power rangers, and realizing he could never be the pink ranger. He called the doctor to see about a pink taco but the doctor hated the elfs shitty music so he denied him the surgery. The elf soon started dressing as a girl and attempted to join the new york dolls but they hated him so they denied him membership. That night he stood in front of the mirror That night he felt the filth of rejection and took the first shower of his life. As he stepped out of the shower he looked up at his reflection in the mirror he realized his dreams could never come

And it ends there. I'd like to think that this goes on for pages and pages. Keep in mind, this is just the prologue. Yes, the author is familiar with the concept of a prologue. I'd like to know what happened to the animals of the ravenous type. I'd like to know if Mr. Freeze finally gets a wig. I need to know when Michael J Fox grew a beard. I need to know where the cookies/kookies fit in. But most of all, I need to know the fate of Happy Cow Shit. I'd like to know if his milk spawned any more magic elves. By the way, my favorite part of this whole thing is that writer #2 actually edited something out. Apparently, upon deeper reflection, he felt the story needed some extra nihilistic oomph. I am not kidding when I say I will be selling the original manuscript on eBay.

city of god 1

"You want God? Don't look at Scripture, look everywhere, at the planets,
the constellations, the universe. Look at a bug, a flea. Look at the manifold wonders of creation, including the Nazis. That's the kind of God you're dealing with."

 E.L. Doctorow, City Of God 

flippity floppity

When Stephen Colbert gave his speech to the  White House Correspondents' Association Dinner back in 2006 , one of his funniest lines was, referring to the stubborn nature of George Bush, "Events can change; this man's beliefs never will. He believes the same thing Wednesday as he did Monday. No matter what happened Tuesday."

It was funny because it was so true. It doesn't really matter what actually happens in the world, once Bush's mind is made up, that's the way things gon' be, facts be damned. And I thought we rational-minded people agreed that was a stupid way to run the country. But I thought wrong. All it takes is for Obama to utter the word "refine" for the right to holler "flip flop!" and for the left to start wigging out out and whining about being betrayed. By all the outrage, you'd think that Obama actually changed his position or something.

/pulling out hair

The whole concept of the "flip flop" has dumbed politics down more than just about anything else over the past few years. We say we don't like Bush's way, but refuse to give anyone an inch of leeway.

recycle or die

Atrios laments the state of recycling in his fair city (Philly) which gives me the opportuinty to lament the state of recycling in mine (San Diego).

I have a big blue recycling bin. So I thought I was being an upstanding citizen by throwing anything with a "recycle" symbol into the recycle bin. Makes sense, no?

Well I have some particle board, and I wasn't sure if it could be recycled, So I went to the City Of San Diego recycling website, where I learned I was doing it all wrong.

Apparently, at least in San Diego, you cannot recycle:

• Milk cartons
• Juice boxes
• Plastic bags
• Plastic cups
• Plastic utensils
• Plastic pots
• Styrofoam
• Yogurt cups
• Cottage cheese containers
• Sour cream containers

...even if the packaging says to recycle. Wha?

die kreuzen - big bad days [1991]

Die Kreuzen - Big Bad Days b/w Gone Away (Acoustic) [1991]

Touch & Go Records #79

Okay, I admit it, this EP sucks pretty hard. But it is Die Kreuzen, and any band who did this in the 80's...

...clearly deserves the benefit of the doubt in the doldrums of 1991. So if you're a Die Kreuzen completist, here ya go. DOWNLOAD

a disgrace

Admittedly, I'm no financial wizard, but somehow I've always understood Social Security to be a system where we pay present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today. In the words of Vinny Barbarino...

I'm so confused because John McCain says...

"Americans have got to understand that we are paying present-day retirees with the taxes paid by young workers in America today. And that's a disgrace. It's an absolute disgrace and it's got to be fixed."

Wha? Social Security is a "disgrace"? I hope McCain makes that his bumper sticker.

$145 oil

ThinkProgress reminds us of a 2001 NYT article on Bin Laden's wishes:

''If bin Laden takes over and becomes king of Saudi Arabia, he'd turn off the tap,'' said Roger Diwan, a managing director of the Petroleum Finance Company, a consulting firm in Washington. ''He said at one point that he wants oil to be $144 a barrel'' -- about six times what it sells for now.

Well, thank God that didn't happen.

NEW YORK, July 3 (Reuters) - Oil rushed to record over $145 a barrel on Thursday ahead of the U.S. independence Day holiday, extending a rally that has added 50 percent to prices this year.

mccain hates me, too

Have a blog? Well, he hates you too.

you don't say

Punknews.org informs me that

Dropkick Murphys recently dropped by the AT&T-sponsored Blue Room for an interview and some exclusive live footage. The band talks about their Irish roots...

 Wow, that's unexpected. Next thing you know, they'll be talking about Boston. 

In other news, grass is green.