Now that I have a kid, I think I've watched more kid's TV shows this year than I did when I was a kid. At first, she responded to Spongebob, which I must admit I rather enjoy. She got bored with that, and now it's Dora The Explorer. Oh, it's the worst. First of all, it apparently treats kids like they have, not a developing brain, but no brain at all. For example, Dora will be on some quest that involves, let's say, a red box. At some point Dora will ask the kids at home, "Can you find the red box?" and it looks something like this:
Thanks to Wifey for artistic guidance.
What kid on Earth understands what Dora is saying but can't find the box? IT'S RIGHT THERE! THE HUGE THING TAKING UP HALF THE SCREEN!  I don't seem to remember the shows I watched treating me like such an idiot. I guess we'll see in a few years when I buy Finn some Electric Company and Muppets DVDs. Secondly, it has a not-so-secret plan to indoctonate kids by teaching then Spanish. This is the first step in the Reconquista. This is America! Speak American! Ok, for reals, the Spanish is actually the coolest thing about the show. But I am a little suprised that Republicans haven't tried to boycott the show.

But the worst part of the show is the songs. Holy Christ these stupid flipping songs will get stuck in your head. All day long, "we did it, we did it, we did it, Hooray!" Ay yi yi, I wanted to die.

The only silver lining is that it was that freaking map song.*

Brian Regan - Dora the Explorer
Brian ReganComedianStand-Up

*Wow. "Flipping" and "freaking" in the same blog post. Parenthood sure has fucking changed me.

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