halloween notes

• I take no credit for the pumpkins, it was all SC. 
• Ok, kids, pay attention. This is the Halloween script. 

1. You:
   
2. Me:
   
3. You: Trick or treat!
4. Me: My, what a [scary, pretty, neat, etc] costume!
5. Me: ,Puts candy in your bag>
6. You: Thank you!
7. Me: You're welcome, have a Happy Halloween.

• This means:

a) "Hi" is not an acceptable way to address me.
b) Saying nothing at all is also not acceptable. 

• Wearing a costume is mandatory. 

I might let a non-costume slide, if you wear a goofy hat or shirt. But nothing at all, really? A ehole group of you, and not a costume to be found.

• When I answer the door, you shouldn't have to get off of your cell phone to say "trick or treat". 

I don't think I'm being Andy Rooney in my complaints. But this was the first year in quite a while that I've got to pass out candy, and something I've looked forward to. We did our part. We bought no candy corn, no Dum-Dums, no SweetTarts. We brought our A-game: Reeses Sticks, Snickers. Sure, some of you were adorable. But on the whole, y'all did not live up to your side of the bargain. That was amateur hour. It was like in was the first Halloween ever and you guys were working out the kinks. Do you need a crash course in Halloween 101?

Step up yo' game.