chargers v panthers game blog

1st quarter

• Initial impression: DeAngelo Williams and Jonathan Stewart are looking like a formidable running back duo. 
• I am already sick of this Fox robot thingymabob. What is the point of this? Is their target demographic 8-year-olds?
• Once again, uninspired, unimaginative play calling for the Chargers. 
• I have no idea what this Bill Gates/Jerry Seinfeld commercial is supposed to mean. Did I accidentally get high?
  

2nd quarter

• Bend but don't break defensive schemes are not good for my health. 
• 9-7 Carolina, but it hasn't been that close. Could easily be 21-7. San Diego usually make the proper adjustments in the second half. We'll see. 

3rd Quarter

• This run Tomilinson off tackle is getting so old. I know the philosophy is to wear the defense down, and usually by the 3rd quarter it starts to work, but I don't have to like it. C'mon, Find a way to get it to LT in open space, Norv. 
• Okay, this is why I'm not a head coach. Aforementioned philosophy is starting to pay dividends. 
• Where's Sproles?
• As I type that, enter Sproles. 
• Drive fizzles. FG good. 10-7 Chargers. 
• What the hell is "initial quality" in vehicles? Shouldn't I care more about eventual quality than initial quality?
• Latest holding call ever. They were done with the sack replay before I even knew there was a flag.
• Ugh. More LT up the middle. 
• Oh Jesus Christ. Panthers strip Gates, return the ball for an easy touchdown. This is a pathetic display so far, Chargers. Looks like we'll be back to hating Norv in no time. 16-10 Panthers. 
• LT up the middle. Are you fucking kidding me?

4th Quarter

• After a first-down killing hold, 3 and out. This game is lost. Chargers have absolutely no spark. Nice play calling, Norv, you douchebag.
• The defense is certainly not to blame for this debacle. Panthers field goal makes it 19-10 Panthers.
  
• Nobody on the Charger's offense has played horribly. But they are just running plays that are called. And those plays are horrible. Yet I'm sure Rivers will be the scapegoat. 
• Oh yeah, Vincent Jackson is on the team. Nice to find out in THE FOURTH QUARTER.
• Another Jackson catch. Do I sense a spark? 
• Rivers to Gates, touchdown San Diego. As awkward as Philips throwing style is, it works. As much as a prick he can be, I like him. 19-17 Panthers. See what happens when you open it up a little, Norv? 
• Defense has been clutch. This would kinda sorta be a good time to keep that going.
• Forced fumble, Chargers recover. That would kinda sorta qualify as clutch. 
• LT up the middle, saved by a defensive holding penalty. It's called momentum Norv, seize it. 
• LT up the middle for 8 yards. Genius call!
• Lt to the outside (yes!), 9 yard gain. 
• Back to back up the middle carries by LT and Sproles get only a few yards. This back and forth between loving and hating Norv Turner is not good for my mental state. 
• Rivers to Jackson, touchdown San Diego. I was confident of this all along. I was just trying to throw you off earlier. 24-19 Chargers. 
• In past years, this is where the Charger defense has collapsed. They have been unable to finish an oppenent when they are down. 
• Like that, Carolina is across the 50. 
• Fuck. 2 seconds left. One play from the Chargers 13.
• Touchdown Carolina. 
• Fuck.
  
• If I was a betting man, I'd be rich.