Friday Shitlist II: The Dream Warriors

"I'm sick to death of being constantly fucking sick of...."

1. Chipotle & Tabasco

Even though I like their food, I have hard enough time as it is thinking of Chipotle as “Mexican” food (white rice?), but their insistence on carrying Tabasco sauce instead of Tapatio makes it impossible. Tabasco is not meant for Mexican food. The only people who think it is arehonky crackers who think hot sauce is hot sauce, so what’s the difference? But then again, Chipotle is based in Denver, which explains a lot. But even from a purely economic standpoint, it makes no sense, as Tapatio is generally way less than Tabasco.

I know I bitch about this a lot, but the solution is so easy that I don’t understand why they don’t listen to me.

2. Lynn Westmoreland

Westmoreland, Republican congressman from Georgia (go figure), co-sponsored legislation “requiring the display of the Ten Commandments in the Hall of the House of Representatives and the Chamber of the Senate.” So, last night Steven Colbert simply asked him to name the Ten Commandments. His answer?

You mean all of them?—Um… Don’t murder. Don’t lie. Don’t steal Um… I can’t name them all.

(click the link for the video)

Better yet, after Colbert made a complete ass of him on National TV, Westmoreland posts a picture of the two on his website. Talk about clueless.



It’s heartening that we have rely on comedians to expose these hypocrites.

3. Heather Faria

Faria was a high school teacher who had stomach cancer. In order to raise money for her treatment, her community held fundraisers and benefits, including a 50 mile relay by 12-year old girls. With their help, Faria received over $35,000 to help in her battle with cancer.

Except that, um, she didn’t have cancer.

4. The House of “Representatives”

The Federal minimum wage has been stuck at $5.15 an hour since 1997. Democrats in the House last week introduced a bill that would gradually raise it to $7.25 by 2009. Of course, Republicans killed it.

But at the same time, the same the House gladly gave themselves a $3,300 raise, bringing their income to $168,500.

They can go to hell.

5. Foie Gras

Yes, I know I’m a cow-slaughtering, chicken-eating hypocrite, but I draw the line at force feeding grain down a ducks throat just to fatten its liver, no matter how good it tastes. Got that, Megan? Your name is one consonant away from Vegan, so you should know better. :)

Okay, enough with the negativity, have a good weekend everyone!