Smokescreens

As Thomas Paine once said, these are the times that try men’s souls. Okay, maybe that’s a slight exaggeration (from me? never!), but the main point remains: we’re in a pretty shitty situation at the moment. Let me count the ways:

Confirmed U.S. Deaths in Iraq: 2475

Average price of gas in CA: $3.269

National Debt: $8,000,000,000,000 (that would be $8 trillion for the numerically challenged)

Trade Deficit: $321,000,000,000 (that’s $321 billion)

Foreclosures: Up %38

Terrorism, Iranian nukes, unsecure ports, global warming, crumbling infrastructure, corrupt Congress, yadayadayada. I could go on and on. Point is, there is plenty of work for Congress and the President to do to try and make our wretched lives a little better. Instead, what do we get?

Constitutional amendments to ban gay marriage and flag burning. Good god, In answerto David Cross’s question, yes, we are a nation of six-year olds, distracted from reality by politicians jingling shiny keys in our faces. They reel us in every time.

Is this all it takes to divert the national attention? Fags and flags? Do you really give a shit about this stuff? As long as we keep falling for it, they will keep pulling these idiotic, juvnile stunts.

The flag burning amendment is on it’s face ridiculous and not worth a second of Congressional time. Is there a flag burning epidemic I’m unaware of? Didn’t think so. Also, before they worry about flag burning, an amendment banning this would be nice:



The proposed ban on gay marriage is called the Federal Marriage Amendment, and would define marriage as between a man and a woman. Its supporters cite it as necessary to protect marriage. Protect marriage? Give me a break. Six words: Who Wants To Marry A Millionaire?

If the goal is to "protect" marriage, then we should probably first decide what the biggest threats to marriage are . Gays? Hmmm, two guys want to get married. This threatens your marriage how exactly? Are you going to turn gay because now you have options?

Okay, so what else? Adultery. Yeah, that could threaten a marriage. Why not make adultery a criminal offense? Gambling, strip clubs, porn, PMS, football, I can think of a million things that may threaten a marriage, and none of them involve "teh gay".

But without a doubt the number one threat to marriage is divorce. It’s pretty much the anti-marriage. If marriage was a superhero, divorce would be his (or her) arch enemy. So why not pass a Federal amendment banning divorce?

Probably because in the U.S. Senate, divorce is as popular as spewing vile bullshit about gay marriage and flag burning.

Allen, George (R-VA) – Divorced
Bond, Christopher S. (R-MO) – Divorced
Graham, Lindsay (R-S) – Unmarried… celibate?
Hutchison, Kay Bailey (R-TX) – Divorced
McConnell, Mitch (R-KY) – Divorced

That’s just those members of the “distinguished” Senate who support the amendment. The House is much too large to get into. God knows what a freakshow we’d find in that fetid swamp.

Leave the Constitution alone. It’s a fine document the way it is. Leave the gays alone. If they want the misery of marriage, let them have it.

And, next time you go to a gay wedding, make sure to bring a flag to burn. It's the American way.