feel good story of the day

Not the way I wanna go, fo' sho.

A window cleaner died after stabbing himself in the groin repeatedly with a jumbo souvenir pencil, an inquest heard....
Worried neighbours raised the alarm after they were unable to get hold of him.
When police broke into his house they found Mr Burton lying on his back, wearing only his underpants.
The room was splattered with blood and music was still playing on his stereo. The giant blood-covered pencil was beside him.

 [barstool/ny]